Should I Stay or Should I Go

Decisions … decisions ….When is it all too much? When does sticking it out become nothing more than wasting your life away?

As a serial job hopper, I generally go somewhere, work my hardest until I get bored an leave. Before I leave, I generally manage to shake things up, make a sizable dent in workloads and force the other workers to match my own crazy techno music pace, or die trying. There have been casualties along the way I am sad to say, but I am amused to say that a lot of places are required to use two or sometimes three people fill my shoes. I know how big my shoes can be to fill (and maybe my hat as well) but I always have left my mark.

Well, not here. When I got re-assigned away from Big Black Box Computer Company, well, it all went downhill in a massive mudslide.

So when is it all too much. This year I went from the 25% travel I signed up for, to 100% travel in one fell swoop. So my thought is, when is “sticking it out” actually worthwhile. I know the standard reasons, to establish stability, to make significant contributions, to work your way up the food chain. I don’t see that as a possibility here, though I have to concede that I may just be tired and feeling whiny.  At this point, I don’t even meet my own criteria for staying, as follows:

Am I happy?

Do I feel challenged?

Am I at least friendly with my co-workers?

Do I have a good boss who will help me grow?

Do I have room to grow within my role and the company?

Do I have interesting and creative work?

How easy/hard is it to get up to go to work versus to get up to go to the gym or anyplace else?

Am I living each day in a worthwhile pursuit?

Can I see the results of my work?

Am I making enough money to pay for necessities?

So, you take this list, and weigh they number of questions you answered yes to and the number of questions you answered no to. Add those up. That is the most logical way I know. However, that being said, I also know that I am not really a logical person, and those who say it is just that I am a woman, can stow it. You have to understand who you are, so if logic is enough for you, great, if not, you then have to weigh out how important each one is to you. I usually give them a percentage and add them all up on an excel spreadsheet.  I may not be logic driven, but i’m still a nerd at heart.

If you get some extra time, try it out. Does your current job measure up?

Photos by billaday and  by wsdot via Flickr Creative Commons.  

One Knot at a Time

Goodbye Cruel World!

Finally, the decision is made. I can’t take it anymore, being here, sitting in this desk, in this dungeon anymore. I don’t want to sit alone in my fabric cage anymore. I got into IT after one day realizing that is where the money and opportunity is, at least in this town. It never had anything to do with a vocation or love of technology or such things. In fact, I don’t even like computers much anymore, its not all tragedy and horror, sometimes its nice to get to play with toys worth more money than you will most likely ever make in a lifetime. Its time to call it though. Not too long ago, a manager asked my (a perpetual job-hopper) what my loyalty to the position was. Believe it or not, I somehow managed to not laugh in his face. Loyalty? After they laid off some of my co-workers, my friends? I had one of my few moments of lucidity and was able to give an answer that has suddenly changed my outlook on life. I said, “I won’t be looking for another IT job in the months and years to come.”

Now, I am a bit of a weird cat in this day and age in that I don’t believe in sugar-coating anything, ever. i also refuse to do anything that I consider even borderline under the table. My company asked me for inside information on a client at who’s site I was working a while back, and I told them no. Flat out, No! I still remember the look I got, that flabbergasted, utter disbelief that someone would just say no. Admittedly, I have developed a bit of a reputation around town, anyone who wants a real straight answer comes right to me, and you either love it or hate it. So when I gave that answer, I meant it wholeheartedly, I just didn’t know it yet.

So now, those words have been haunting me for a while now. I realized that I had turned a corner, and finally figured out what I need to do. I never intended my journey to be a physical one, I have tied myself down a little too effectively to even think about it. Its time to start untying those knots. I refuse to just lay down and die here. If you give up all your dreams, you have already died, and I woke up to realize that I have let them all die, every single one. So now its time to start digging myself out.

I realize that a lot of people in this situation might just walk away from it all, forget the darn mortgage, etc but I cannot be that person. I know that it is a bit old fashioned but who do you know anymore that is truly governed by what is right? I must be ruled by what is right, by what is good and just in this world. So instead, I will free myself one knot at a time. Its time to pay off all those debts, sell all that crap that at one point was important to me and blow this joint. Somehow I will figure out a ticker, or some such, so I can setup a monetary countdown to freedom, I’ll post it when I figure it out. Now only one major hurdle to this planning process … telling the family.

BTW: That sheep is a piece of artwork, not a real sheep plummeting to its death.

Photo Via Flickr by ecatoncheires