IT Pilgrimage

A Journey From IT to Freedom

One Knot at a Time

Posted by IT Pilgrim on July 25, 2008

Goodbye Cruel World!

Goodbye Cruel World!

Finally, the decision is made. I can’t take it anymore, being here, sitting in this desk, in this dungeon anymore. I don’t want to sit alone in my fabric cage anymore. I got into IT after one day realizing that is where the money and opportunity is, at least in this town. It never had anything to do with a vocation or love of technology or such things. In fact, I don’t even like computers much anymore, its not all tragedy and horror, sometimes its nice to get to play with toys worth more money than you will most likely ever make in a lifetime. Its time to call it though. Not too long ago, a manager asked my (a perpetual job-hopper) what my loyalty to the position was. Believe it or not, I somehow managed to not laugh in his face. Loyalty? After they laid off some of my co-workers, my friends? I had one of my few moments of lucidity and was able to give an answer that has suddenly changed my outlook on life. I said, “I won’t be looking for another IT job in the months and years to come.”

Now, I am a bit of a weird cat in this day and age in that I don’t believe in sugar-coating anything, ever. i also refuse to do anything that I consider even borderline under the table. My company asked me for inside information on a client at who’s site I was working a while back, and I told them no. Flat out, No! I still remember the look I got, that flabbergasted, utter disbelief that someone would just say no. Admittedly, I have developed a bit of a reputation around town, anyone who wants a real straight answer comes right to me, and you either love it or hate it. So when I gave that answer, I meant it wholeheartedly, I just didn’t know it yet.

So now, those words have been haunting me for a while now. I realized that I had turned a corner, and finally figured out what I need to do. I never intended my journey to be a physical one, I have tied myself down a little too effectively to even think about it. Its time to start untying those knots. I refuse to just lay down and die here. If you give up all your dreams, you have already died, and I woke up to realize that I have let them all die, every single one. So now its time to start digging myself out.

I realize that a lot of people in this situation might just walk away from it all, forget the darn mortgage, etc but I cannot be that person. I know that it is a bit old fashioned but who do you know anymore that is truly governed by what is right? I must be ruled by what is right, by what is good and just in this world. So instead, I will free myself one knot at a time. Its time to pay off all those debts, sell all that crap that at one point was important to me and blow this joint. Somehow I will figure out a ticker, or some such, so I can setup a monetary countdown to freedom, I’ll post it when I figure it out. Now only one major hurdle to this planning process … telling the family.

BTW: That sheep is a piece of artwork, not a real sheep plummeting to its death.

Photo Via Flickr by ecatoncheires


4 Responses to “One Knot at a Time”

  1. Francois said

    Kudos to you:
    – for choosing your integrity and self-worth above pleasing the boss.
    – for choosing to fight for your dreams.
    – for choosing freedom over things.

    Two thumbs up from me.

  2. IT Pilgrim said

    @Francois. Thanks all I can say is, I’m trying. I realize, that for me, I would rather do what’s right than what’s easy. Its the only way to live.

  3. Francois said

    You got that right – the only way to live.

    One more thing. Wouldn’t you agree that some people will call a real sheep plummeting to its death work of art? 🙂

  4. IT Pilgrim said

    @Francois, yes, I would agree, some people would. And while I just thought it looked funny, the idea of the sheep bashing its brains on pavement wasn’t so funny at least once I thought about it. I’ve bottle fed too many lambs I guess. But obviously someone else thought it was funny, evidentially that is a sculpture set up in France.


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