IT Pilgrimage

A Journey From IT to Freedom

WoW Widow Never Again

Posted by IT Pilgrim on September 23, 2008

Are you a wow widow? Everquest or Battlefields widow? Ladies, or Gentlemen, if you can’t beat them (the games) join them. For years I have battled with online games, and the amount of time and energy they suck out of a family. I’m tired of fighting it. Having lost my local contract, I am now a bit of a road warrior, which means the only thing I see is airplanes, hotel rooms, and datacenters. So … in an effort to actually have a little contact with the outside world, I’ve caved and started to play WoW.

Really, I’ve known all along that it is a losing battle, to make someone choose between something they love to do, whatever that may be, and yourself. I’ve never really been a believer in the idea that you can change people, they will always be who they have always been. I also believe that no one is perfect, and that fairy tale of perfection, or line of crap, that we have been sold about marriage is just that. Marriage is not about two people finding their soulmates, or some other religious nonsense, its about two best friends making compromises to live and work together.

We have all heard about Mommy Porn, well now, I am calling out the marriage porn, because its still crap. All that silly stuff about people instantly knowing, and being perfectly happy everyday forever, that’s a lie. No one person is perfectly happy everyday forever, even with no stresses, so how can two be every minute of everyday? That idea is nothing but a fiction. Its about compromise, and what level of compromise or sacrifices you are willing to make.

So how, you may ask, does this relate to WoW. Well, as many a Gen X or Y woman may know, a lot of people are addicted to these online games. People spend all theirs days and nights playing, even taking vacation for in-game special events. I thought I remembered a few cases of people playing for so long they eventually had heart failure at their computer. I couldn’t find the link, but if I do later, I will add it. Well, people squirel their entire lives away on these games, and Mr. Pilgrim is one of them. Not the worst, by far, because somehow dogs get let out and fed, dishes get done, and the occasional meal gets cooked, but a gamer is a gamer.

Whenever I think about it, I remember reading this quote, and it brought me to a realization, that you can’t change people, you can only change yourself. I am, just for the record, actually referring to a sibling, we’ll call him Speedy, but he’s a story for another day. I wish I could write something that evoked the same sadness in you, that reading it did in me, but alas, I do not have the words.Β  So I leave you with the words of Rainer Maria Rilke …

A person isn’t who they are during the last conversation you had with them – they’re who they’ve been throughout your whole relationship.
Rainer Maria Rilke

By the way, if anyone runs into a Blood-Elf Hunter names Keallach, be sure to say hi.

Photo by rangzen via Flickr


3 Responses to “WoW Widow Never Again”

  1. Francois said

    LOL… you’re a WoW player!! Hehe…

    I avoid games like the plague. I become almost instantly addicted.

    Last time I played a computer game was last year.

    After not touching computer games for over 4 years I decided to try one out.

    I spent a week sleeping 2 hours a night, playing during my lunch break, playing before work, after work, during work when I got the time.

    I hated it. πŸ™‚ Wiped the game after a week and got some sleep. Hehe… πŸ™‚

  2. Jemimah said

    I’m not sure it’s wise or moral to sanction such behavior by joining in. It’s terrible to lose friends and relatives to the game, but life and especially youth is too short to spend it all in front of a screen. I’m very lucky my husband has no interest in online games; I’m not sure what I would do if he did. I guess I would hope he’d eventually get bored of it, but I honestly don’t think I could stay in a relationship like that long term. It’s true that real life, marriage is nothing like it is in the movies, and you do need to change and adapt to make it work, but ultimately a marriage is an alliance that’s supposed to be for the mutual financial/spiritual/emotional benefit of both parties, to help you both achieve your goals in life. Perhaps you can’t force him to choose you over the game, but the opportunity cost you pay to stay in a relationship with someone who has largely checked out of reality is mind-bogglingly huge. If you’ve envisioned an exiting, adventurous life for yourself, don’t go quietly into that good night.

  3. IT Pilgrim said


    Good point. I don’t think he’s going to grow out of it. But your point about opportunity cost is a good point. I will think about it, Thanks


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